X-Rated Latte Art

Don't say I didn't warn you...and don't scroll down with kids around. Oh, and if you're easily offended by genitalia...ummm...don't look at all.

Presenting...the Penilatte
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Lady

"Do you like my new do?"

Apple

Apple.

Toddy experiments

As predicted, "He" researched like a maniac and found a Toddy Coffee Maker at Kitchen Complements downtown. I can't say I was even remotely surprised when he came home with it, yet I will admit I was a little excited too. The next step was to get some beans. Since we love Thump's Toddy-style Iced Coffee we thought what better place to stop in and grab some roasted goodness then at the place where I had first fallen in love with it? After perusing their fine selection of beans we decided to use the Sumatra Blue for our first try. The barista told us that the Sumatra Blue had a nice sweetness to it so I was really looking forward to giving it a whirl. We all know how I like natural sweetness, baby.

He ground the beans using the grinder he hates...I keep telling him to get a new one yet he keeps putting it off since we rarely use it. Maybe now that he's on the Toddy kick he'll break down and get one. Whoops...there I go again, off on a tangent. I guess I should back up and explain how the Toddy-style coffee maker works. First, you have a large glass jar that the coffee eventually drains into. On top of that is a large, handled, "vat" that has a spot for the filter to lay in, and a plug at the bottom. The nice part is that you load it up with coffee, put in the required amount of water, and place the vat on top of the glass jug, and throw it all in the fridge. Well, you don't really throw it. More like slide it in gently. Can't have that plug coming out at the wrong time now. Talk about ruining a pound of coffee! Yi, yi, yi. The mere thought makes me grow gray hairs.

Where were we?

Making Toddy coffee. We let our oh-so-tasty looking concoction sit overnight just chillin' and the next morning he removed the plug so that the concentrate could flow forth. And boy did it flow. Flowed, and flowed, and flowed some more. I think it took at least a half an hour for it all to drain. Maybe more. Eventually we were rewarded with our Toddy style coffee concentrate. He was the first to sample the results but chose to make a "hot Toddy" rather than an iced one. The coffee was good. Damn good. Both of us really liked the Sumatra Blue's flavor. Didn't need any sugar whatsoever. Since he had had such good luck I thought an iced Toddy was just what the doctor ordered. I mixed it appropriately and ran into the same problem I had at Thump. Raw sugar. My love/hate relationship with it continues. Sooo tasty and sooo natural and yet such a pain to mix. Especially when you're putting it into something cold. I can't say I enjoyed our iced Toddy coffee even half as much as Thump's. It just didn't have that magic like theirs did. I think the Sumatra may have been too strong of a coffee and thus needed more water and ice to get the right flavor down. Either way, I think drinking the Sumatra Blue "hot" is the way to go.

Between mixing it with hot water, making gelato out of it, and using it in various other recipes, the consensus was that we enjoyed our Toddy coffee. Naturally we were wanting to make a good iced coffee and came up with the brilliant idea to ask the barista's at Thump as to which beans they used for their Toddy's. Let me dazzle you with our belated brain power. The other day I happened to be in Thump and got 12 ozs. of Stumptown's Nicaragua Miraflor (Organic Fair Trade) after they told me that's what they had used--at least in their latest batch.

The finished concentrate is sitting in the jug as we speak. He made a hot coffee tonight and although it was slightly "weaker" than the Sumatra Blue, it was still quite delicious. I plan to whip up an iced Toddy tomorrow. This time I shall make a simple syrup first so as not to curse me beloved/hated Sugar in the Raw. Reporting back soon...

Toddy Style Iced Coffee at Thump

Seriously, YEAH! I saw on Thump's website last week that they were starting to serve Toddy Style Iced Coffee. I had never heard of Toddy style...wait, scratch that...I have but only when it comes to drinks with Rum in them. "He" had, of course, and launched into informing me all about the cold brewing process and how it is the "ONLY" way to drink Iced Coffee. In doing a little of my own research it seems there are a few different ways to brew up your own concoction of the coffee extract and different schools of thought on mixing it. Basically, the idea is that you brew the coffee "cold" instead of hot. One site suggests grinding up some beans, mixing it with water, and letting it sit overnight in the refrigerator. You then drain the mixture and voila--you've got Toddy extract! Mix the syrupy, strong concentrate with water, add some ice, and you're drinking a true Iced Coffee. They say that as it reduces the coffee's acidity it makes it easier on the tummy. "He" said the caffeine is also supposed to be less. Very cool! You can also try using a French Press with cold water. I'm guessing you'd have to play around with the brewing times to find the right one for you, though.

Now, we haven't experimented with our own yet but rest assure that "He" is well on his way to finding THE perfect Toddy-style concentrate maker. We will report back once that happens.

I being the truly impatient one had to head down to Thump to give this newfangled (to me anyways) coffee a try. I ordered up a small size and gave it a taste. Yummy! It is strong so those of you who are used to drinking Iced Caramel Macchiato's at Starbucks are probably going to want to add sugar to it. Do your best not to go crazy though...trust me on this one. I opted for a splash of cream and not quite a packet of the Raw Sugar just to bring out the sweetness in the coffee. Personally, I thought it was great and probably one of the best iced coffee's I've ever had. You could actually taste the flavor of the coffee beans which is not usually the case in other iced coffees. There is a definite sweetness on its own and it's smoother than a baby's butt. Not that I've licked any baby butts in my time...just sayin'. Admittedly it took a little getting used to because of the strength yet keep an open mind and keep tasting! "He" came home and was able to get a sip in before I drank it all, and thought it was excellent. Granted, the ice cubes had melted by then so it was more watered down than it was when I first got it. Eh, no matter.

The one thing I forgot to ask was what type of beans they're using for the cold-brewing. I know they've got a few new ones featured so shame on me for not getting the goods. Next time...I promise!

Run, don't walk, as I don't know how long they'll be serving this up for. I'm hoping at least through August and maybe into September. Tell 'em we sent you and then let us know what you think!

Ito En does Coffee in a bottle

Pretty bottle, isn't it? Makes you want to crack it open and sample the Japenese goodness within and think of simpler times. First I should preface all of this by saying that Ito En makes some of the best bottled teas I've had. Their Jasmine rocks, as does their Hojicha (which I can't find on their website), and are two of my absolute favorites. So when I saw a bottled coffee from them I figured it was worth trying. Of course part of me has a hard time relating Japan with espresso, but nevertheless it drew me in.

On first sip I will say it's pretty watery and a tad weak in the coffee flavoring. To me it tastes like the Starbucks bottled coffees (not the Iced Coffee, mind you). Too sweet, not enough coffee punch, but not bilge water either. The can does say it can be served either hot or cold but the thought of heating up an already cold coffee beverage never crossed my mind, so I didn't try it that way. Maybe it would've been better. Er, maybe not.

Supposedly it is freshly brewed Brazilian and Tanzanian coffee beans in the French Roast style. Well, me and French Roast don't particularly get along as usually the beans are annihilated in the roasting process. Not if it's done right, mind you, yet it often times isn't. Especially when it's "commercially" roasted. Those nasty cigarette smelling coffee beans we got from Costco were French Roast. They are to this day beyond oily which is surprising to me as one would think ALL of the oils were burnt out of the beans in the burning (roasting) process, yet there it is - leaving nasty residues all over everything it touches. I curse them everytime I use them and yet I'm too cheap to replace them. At least they don't smell as bad as they used to. Notice I said AS bad. They still stink.

Where was I? Ah yes, coffee in a can.

I'd pass on this one. Again, it's not horrible or nasty, but it ain't good either. I think I'll stick to the teas from Ito En. They've got those down pat.

Balay

Famous for their Bubble Tea (which I adore), Balay also serves up espresso, and since I was downtown the other day I figured I'd try a cappuccino. From what I could tell the brand they use is Caffe D'Arte, which is one I was unfamiliar with. I will say that the cappuccino was made very well. A tad too hot, yet the foam was nicely done, the milk blended well with the espresso, and the size was good. I wasn't a big fan of the espresso, though. It was a tad too strong/heady and had a taste that I can't place but one that I wasn't crazy about. While it definitely was not bad, it wasn't my favorite. So I will stick with their fabulous Bubble Teas and maybe try the cappuccino again at a later date. Could've been bad beans.